Twenty Years

My husband and I were married twenty years ago this April. We celebrated back in February. That's right--we celebrated two months early. March and April were looking way too busy, and my son's Pinewood Derby is scheduled for the day of our anniversary. So we took the opportunity when we could to have our romantic getaway. Probably we'll only have time for a lunch out on our actual anniversary.

Back on our first date twenty years ago, Eric mentioned that his favorite author is James Thurber. He was shocked that I'd never read any of Thurber's stories, especially considering that I'd just started on a master's degree in English. He sat me down and read me the story "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty." It's the story of a man with a very boring life but a great imagination.

I feel honored that in celebration of our 20th anniversary, Hollywood has remade the movie "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty."  (Wink, Wink.) We watched it on our anniversary weekend and loved it. And not just because it's a great movie. (Thank you, Hollywood.) But also because I have become so much like Walter Mitty. Seriously, you guys, I do the zone out thing so much that my husband kept giving me that look during the movie--the look that said, "This guy is totally you." Other authors tell me they zone out too. But my poor husband! I feel very blessed that he has stuck with me.

I remember there were some times at the beginning of our marriage when we were still getting used to each other that I thought, "What was I thinking?" But as Eric and I have grown together, things have gotten better and better. I can't imagine being married to anyone else.

Years ago, someone gave me the following marriage advice: "Lower your expectations." I have to say that I've repeated that phrase in my mind many times over the years. I tend to be a huge perfectionist. I set big goals and generally achieve them. My husband, happily, is just the opposite. He take a laid back approach to life. He balances me out, but sometimes I have tried to impose my perfectionism on him. It never turns out well.

What advice has helped you the most in dealing with other people?