The other day, as I helped my son with his word search homework, it occurred to me that if prisoners were forced to do word searches, lawyers might consider it cruel and unusual punishment, especially if said prisoners were suspected terrorists held off the coast of Cuba. Then I thought of all the ex-cons who keep going back to prison. Apparently, the thought of living with a bunch of murderers and rapists isn't enough to keep them from coming back. Maybe we need to change the sentences. Just imagine a judge saying one of these:
- I sentence you to read every edition of Thomas the Tank Engine every day for the next ten years.
- I sentence you to five years as a passenger in a driver's education vehicle.
- I sentence you to live in a cell carpeted with Legos.
- I sentence you to wait in an emergency room for twenty years.
- I sentence you to ten years of potty training.
- I sentence you to three hours a day of word searches.
- I sentence you to paint a room with the help of six kindergarteners.